Well well well, it’s that time of the year again… the battle of the hotties is back and no one is more thrilled than me. I love a tight end more than the next girl, but a Tight End in spandex… come to mamma!
The Patriots are back and this team is so caliente they’re the reason why America is great. But sorry boys, I’m not rooting you because the Atlanta Falcons are making their debut and there is nothing hotter than an underdog story.
The Falcons rely on speed, pressure and forcing turnovers; the Patriots are big and physical (mmm yeah they are!). Which style will be the winning formula on Sunday? Only time will tell but in the meantime… let’s fact check with a hot bod contest, shall we?
New England Patriots
Quarterback · 12
Rumor has it Brady can’t wait to take the air out of Roger Goodell, and it won’t be difficult because this hottie takes everyone’s breath away. This Super Bowl is especially important for Brady because it might be his last and he wants to make sure his legacy stays in tact. After the deflating rumors and 4 game suspension this stud muffin is ready with a vengeance and ain’t nothing hotter than a Brady scorned. But watch out Brady, success is the best revenge but revenge is rarely satisfying. He’s gonna have to put the passion aside and keep his eye on Matt Ryan and Keanu Neal if he wants to stop this dynamic duo on the field.
Backup Quarterback · 10
Jimmy Garoppolo is the hot name in town as the Browns and 49ers are on the market for a Quarterback. But neither team should swipe right yet because this hottie is not quite single. The Patriots are fighting hard to keep him around but Jimmy is hardly back burner material. He knows how to play the game and proved himself to be the golden child when Brady was grounded. Despite a shoulder injury, Garoppolo was able to do enough flirting to inspire an offseason trade. Thus proving that keeping this baby in the corner until Brady retires isn’t the wisest choice for the Pats… and gal fans alike.
Wide Receiver · 80
Amen to Amendola! This Texan born hottie is going home for the big game and now that he’s hot off the injury list, Amendola is seeking his second Super Bowl title with the Patriots. Always a winner in my book, and now I believe the stars are aligned for us because we have SO much in common. We are both brunettes, we both love Tom Brady, AND we both sprained our ankle in 2016. Seems like an intro to mom should be in order.
Tight End · 87
I literally “white girl can’t” with this photo. If you covered this photo in Nutella – it would be a trifecta of my favorite things. Rob is the Patriots’ Tight End and he captures the title in every interpretation. He’s not only sexy on the field but his goofy personality makes him a catch off the field. With 68 career touchdowns under his belt, you know he’s going to bring his A-game this Sunday. But who cares about his stats when he looks adorable holding a kitten.
Quarterback · 2
You know a guy is a hottie when he has two first names. Matt Ryan is heading to his first Super Bowl and if historical benchmarking has it’s way Ryan is bound to bring home the trophy. Ryan has seven touchdown passes and zero interceptions this postseason, putting him in some pretty impressive company. Every Quarterback who’s thrown that many touchdowns without an interception in the playoffs has brought home the Super Bowl trophy. How do you like dem apples?
Safety · 89
Aaron Rodgers recently gave Keanu a nod for his skills on the field… and that’s probably because Neal is a GATOR. Wha wha!! This hubba hubba hunk plays like a veteran and is rumored to be the golden ticket for the Falcons. I’m not really sure what a Safety does.. and to be honest I don’t really care because I would feel safe in Neal’s arms any day. It’ll be swoon worthy to watch Neal make Gator bait from the Pats.
Tight End · 86
There ain’t nothing wrong with a Tight End and when it gets the right kind of love magic happens. Tialavea scored his first touchdown when he was given the opportunity to hit the field. Falcons coach, Dan Quinn, said that with Tialavea, they liked his size (me too!) and his blocking ability in the run game, and they wanted to see him develop. Well, a developed tight end is something I always strive for and I can’t wait to see this hottie score again and again.
Wide Receiver · 11
The Falcons probably wouldn’t be in Super Bowl LI without this hottie because Jones has emerged as perhaps the best receiver in football. This Under Armour model has been turning heads on and off the field. He is known to be an extremely explosive football player that keeps defenses on their heels. He’s like the Brickellettes are with men and if he’s looking for a career change… I think he’ll fit right in with us. Julio you’ll be our first pick and we can’t wait to see you bring it on Sunday.
Tight End Kisses,