A Roast to my Old Pal Tobacco Road

Saying good-bye to an old friend is never easy. Especially if this friend shared some of your most noteworthy memories. On October 26, 2014, we bid-farewell to Brickell’s oldest friend Tobacco Road, the place that holds some of the greatest memories from my early days in Brickell…. even if some of those memories are blurry.

It sucks to say good-bye to a friend like this because history is a part of all of us, and in Miami, Tobacco Road is like our Stonehenge… with alcohol.

From kickball parties, to tomato tosses, to a full beach party in it’s backyard, we all have some sort of memory within the Roads perimeter.

But this post isn’t about you, it’s about our friend Tobacco Road. And like any good farewell party, the departee deserves a good roast.

So here’s to you old skunk. Brickellista’s roast to you, my dear friend Tobacco Road.


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Love at First Bite

We first met upon my first week in Brickell. I was just a doe-eyed girl looking for a good burger. You had musical baggage hosting some of the most legendary blues musicians of our time… but more importantly you had a decent piece of meat under your belt.

I walked through your doors for what was then a $0.96 burger on a Friday afternoon. We instantly hit it off. My experience was satisfactory and you, my friend, became my Friday afternoon call. I would walk in to your doors feeling like a queen. Back then Brickell wasn’t what it is today and most of your patrons were homeless alcoholics looking for a fix.

But I too was a regular, I came for the food….until I gained 6lbs thanks to your burgers, nachos, and my addiction to your greasy onion rings. It was time for a break. You were a toxic friend and made me fat, so I needed a break.


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Brickell Ballers Meets Tobacco Road

In 2011, we met again. I was in uniform and in rare form with my kickball team the Brickell Ballers, but you didn’t judge. You happily poured me another pitcher and let me have fun – you knew I needed to let my hair down. We started Brickell Ballers to kick back with our old college pals, and you instantly fit in with our rowdy crew. You welcomed our team along with other kickballers too as we tried to build a community of young professionals in Miami. Without you, and beer pong, it wouldn’t have been as fun. I made new friends and I fell in/out of love under your roof, and you watched along like an old creepy bastard.

It was no surprise that in 2012 I came to celebrate your 100 years on earth. Even though you smelled like vomit, you were my oldest friend and deserved the respect of a decent celebration. You get used to the smell and sticky floors after a while, no!?

I rounded my pals and we partied along with countless others that wanted to commemorate this special day. I take birthdays very seriously. We danced, ate, and partied until the sun went down. The next morning was rough and I hated you again, but you were the talk of the town and quickly became a legend in my eyes.

You don’t mess with the Road because the Road will mess you up.


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Unfortunately, someone did mess with you and messed you up for all of us. When the news came that you were being torn down it came as a shock. The growth of Brickell has taken a warrior and we sacrificed a legend to build something new. Hopefully these developers understand that something epic needs to replace the Road because we, the Brickellites, are not easily amused.

Tobacco Road, we are once again saying good-bye but this time it’s not because I ate too many burgers, but because someone has come between us. A developer with a greedy hand is keeping our love apart.

To us Brickellites, you’ll always be our older and wiser friend that encouraged poor decisions and a good time.

Cheers to you, you old hag. On October 26, 2014 we say good-bye but not before a last hoorah. See you this weekend you dirty dirty bar. And as always, my secrets are safe with you.

You will never be forgotten.

~Brickellista

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